Something kept pushing me to open more doors, learn more. There was this gnawing feeling inside me that told me to dig further, keep looking, be open-minded and discover if there is a potential that I could be god also. So, I held the thought of ‘humor me’ and began my search with an open mind.
I already believed that I was a spark of the Divine, but I had never ever pondered the thought of having the abilities “like” God! Having the ability to create my life! I mean wow, that sounds pretty egotistical don’t you think?
Or is it? I mean if we as humans can become like our own earthly parents and do as they do and we are made in the image and likeness of God, and this Grand Being is our parent also, then why not entertain the possibility that we inherited some of His/Her grand genes? Could that not be a possibility? I know the majority of the world says no, but I like to look outside that little box and expand my horizons, and in my writings rattle a few chains and shake some beliefs – that’s definitely in my DNA! Do you suppose I was born to be different? Or perhaps God made a mistake when He/She made me?
Then I pondered the thought that perhaps our parents had been mislead and were teaching us from untruths they learnt. Could it be that our grandparents taught our parents from untruths? Could it be that someone somewhere got the information mixed up?
Perhaps it was fear? Ah, yes that’s what it was! Fear! I was afraid because everyone around me believed lesser than themselves as well. So how could I believe different then them? I would surely be labeled as weird (oh yeah, I already was!) if I didn’t stick with their beliefs, after all I was taught that God was mean and vengeful and for heaven’s sake how could I dare to entertain the thought that I was God also! I would surely be sent to hell for eternity! Or would I? Who said I would anyway? I don’t remember God whispering that in my ear! Did you hear that? Or perhaps it was one of those human chain games, when a person whispers a story into someone else’s ear and that person passes it to the next person and as it goes on from person to person the story gets distorted but it keeps being passed from generation to generation, down the millennium and as each person hears it believes it is a truth. Is that when you started to believe and own it? When you were told by someone else? Where did this truth come from for you? Have you ever pondered the thought of where did that come from?
Nah, I never believed that God was crazy as a loon and would send my soul to the fiery depths of hell. Wouldn’t that be child abuse? Isn’t that a control tactic that humans have passed on for generations? Tell a child/person that if they don’t obey your every beck and call that they would rot in hell for eternity!? That God would never forgive them? Nice control tactic! Scare the crap out of people and see if they enjoy having a relationship with God. Or was that perhaps reverse psychology with a drop of manipulation mixed into the equation? Hmm isn’t that just a thought to ponder?